"Yes, And" Your Life

STUDENT BLOG

Chad Biagini


“Yes, and” for you improvisers is probably becoming second nature. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, in short, it means to agree and heighten. For example, if in a scene a teacher tells you they saw you cheating on a test, you agree by affirming what they just stated. “I was cheating.” (YES.) And you can tell good ol’ teach you were cheating “because you’re allergic to integrity.” (AND) Now we have a game established and can move on and continue to heighten with all the other times you were forced to commit heinous crimes because of your illness. P.S. I don’t think that’s a real disease. Check WebMD

The concept of “Yes, and” not only works well in scene work, but can be added as a valuable asset to your lifestyle if you allow it, and it’s a brilliant idea if you ask me. But just like The Force, my young Padawans, you must wield it wisely.

Recently, I caught eye contact with a lady in a parking lot. Being a cordial and friendly American citizen, I make it my goal that when I catch eyes with someone, to give them a warm smile.

TANGENT ALERT: I mean, is it really that difficult to acknowledge another person as a human being and use 12 or so of your 36 facial muscles to do so?! Once you have that down…try moving to a polite “hello” or even a nod. You’ll feel better about yourself. I must warn you though, this will eventually become second nature to you and, if you’re not careful, you may accidentally say hi to statues. There are 3 in my daily life that trick me on a regular basis. True story. END TANGENT.

Anyways…………this kind lady returned the gesture and smiled back. Unbeknownst to me, however, her husband was watching – not that I would have behaved any differently – and he came rushing over to me and firmly asked if I was flirting with his wife. Of course I wasn’t, but this was my big chance to prove my improv chops! To showcase to the world my talent! An opportunity to “yes, and” while also taking a big risk (another great choice in improvisation.) How could I pass up an opportunity this golden? I locked eyes with this rugged and much more powerful looking gent and said, “Of course I was, sir. And if given the chance, I’d do it all over again.”

I admit, I may be too quick-witted for my own good at times, and I never claimed to have common sense.

Rugged Powerful Gent’s frown deepened and his brow darkened. I’m certain rain clouds appeared in the sky and I swear I heard vultures soaring overhead in anticipation for their next meal. It was at this moment that I knew I had made a mistake.

Then…

As if in the scene from LOTR: The Two Towers (LOTR…that’s what us cool kids call Lord of the Rings) where Gandalf The White releases King Theoden from the curse bestowed upon him from Grima Wormtongue…

His face made a transformation into a St. Nick type smile and he burst out into hysterical laughter. He grabbed me, gave me a half hug/half noogie, and told me I made his day. He even brought all his friends back to meet me. And as the cliché goes, we all lived happily ever after.


Actually, now that I think of it, I just happened to get really lucky.

Chaddy B

Blog Ambition

I've read some blogs. Hell, I've watched Julie & Julia. Twice. But I have never written one, so its my distinct pleasure to venture into the "blog zone" starting....now! Hello, people. Many of you whom I've met know I moved here in November. I reunited with friends who are transplants from my hometown of Detroit, Michigan, and am making new pals all the time. Moving here wasn't easy. Actually, it was very difficult. I guess the best things in life usually are (awww, look at me waxing philosophical). I am trying to recall meeting anyone who is actually from Los Angeles...still recalling...and, nope. I think its a really cool aspect of L.A. Most people aren't from here. If you happen to be born and bred here, it's no slam against you. I only bring up the diversity of hometowns to illustrate how brave our asses were to do this. I know I've only been here awhile, I'm sure this feeling will wear off. But for now I'm constantly trying new things, going new places, meeting new people. I'm going to attempt to keep the momentum up. So I go to, and/or play, in every show I can. I urge you, gentle reader (bite off of Ann Landers) to do the same! Go to see live theater in any form! Check out the improv jams around town. Why not do stuff like you just got here, too? I'm writing this blog for the next six weeks, and although it may not be in my comfort zone, it's something new and I'm glad to try. See you next week. Jaime xo

Audition! By Michael Shurtleff (and Marc Warzecha)

By: Marc Warzecha

Its been fun writing these blogs this term. Thanks for reading them, and for all of the kind words. I was especially encouraged by the people who claimed to not know about Armenian bashing:

"I knew there were Armenians...but I didn't know anyone disliked them!"

Anyway, I figured since this is a SC Training Center blog, maybe I should try actually writing something useful about the Second City before I wrap this bitch up for the term and hand it over to a new SC blogger (I feel you breathing down my neck, Granny).

Second City auditions have been on the student's minds here in LA. I've had the pleasure of conducting auditions for Second City dozens of times all over the country. Its always a great learning experience, and often a lot of fun. I think that word must get around somehow, because for years now - right before auditions, people usually find me and ask for some advice.

I'm happy to give it, as long as you don't mind me being blunt. And while I don't have any top secret trade secrets to reveal, I hope this helps a bit...

First, realize that an initial audition for Second City most likely an all improv audition.

So, you know, be ready to improvise.

You are probably only gonna get up on stage a couplefew times in the audition. I often hear people complain about this after the auditions. "But, I only got to do three short scenes." Look, bottom line is if you are good enough to get hired by Second City then you are good enough to easily display your skills in three short scenes.

They don't let people do 45 minute lounge acts in the American Idol auditions before Simon can tell if they are ready for the next round, right? They sing a few bars and everybody gets the gist. Same deal here.

So display your improv skill set and - this is important - make a strong, different character choice each time you come out.

Second, you're going to be playing with people you don't know, and sometimes they will be great. And sometimes they will suck. It doesn't matter if they suck.

If you are good enough to get hired by Second City then you are good enough to have a great scene with a bad improviser. TJ Jagadowski - one of the best improvisers in the world - did a scene in the SC ETC where he would pull a random person up on stage every show and improvise with them. And it would kill.

That show off.

Lastly, have fun and get out of your head! Improv is super fun, especially when you are playing with strangers in a weird room in front of a handful of auditors who don't laugh and everyone on stage with you is in competition for the same job.

I'm kidding, of course.

Look, its hard to relax in any almost audition setting. The only thing I can recommended for that is experience. If you want to be hired as one of the few people on earth to do improv for a living, you've got to be experienced enough to hang in any situation.

So keep taking those classes, and improvise outside of class with your classmates. Form troupes. Play anywhere and everywhere you can.

And have a great audition!

Warz

My Name Is Granny

My nickname in high school was Granny, and apparently it’s my most fitting nickname because I’m feeling more and more like a grandmother lately.

Especially when I watch videos like this one about a Grandma commenting on Jersey Shore:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJIqKPfRmWU



I, like the grandmother in this video, am appalled by the human trash on Jersey Shore. In fact, ever since Jersey Shore began airing, I’ve been lamenting the state of America. As a society, we’re at a point where we really can’t fall a single peg lower in human degradation on television. It’s been especially bothersome to me because I’ve been on a roll reading books about pioneer life lately. I know, dork alert! I loved the “Little House” books when I was little, and as an adult, I find that reading books like “Blue Stem” and “Pioneer Woman” has me marveling at how lucky I am to live in a time with indoor plumbing and heating and cooling systems. Not to mention refrigerators. And mattresses!

I read a story about a woman giving birth, totally alone, on the dirt floor of her sod cabin in Kansas. Her husband had gone out to get groceries – which was a two-day affair, walking over 12 miles each way to the one grocery store in Salina. While he was gone, she went into labor. So she delivered by herself, on the floor, cut her own cord, everything. She fainted four times during the process. No one was there to cheer her on, to examine how dilated she was, to give her an epidural! To catch the baby! And yet she persevered.

And then there was the guy who got third-degree burns trying to save his crops during a prairie fire. And the man who went out on an errand without a coat, lost his way and froze to death during a flash blizzard, leaving behind a wife and three young children.

These extraordinary people lived excruciatingly difficult lives to create a better future for their children.

And how do their progeny pay them back? We take steamy, pungent, colossal shits on them. Not a one of them would have come to this country if they knew the path they were on would lead to the human stain that is Jersey Shore.

Snooki, JWoww, The Situation, and all the rest of the cast: you are whores. Pigs. Bum shit on a sidewalk. It's really a shame your ancestors didn't die on the way over.

-- Granny (aka Megan Grano)

Catch the Spirit!

By: Marc Warzecha

There's a regional airline called "Spirit" that I hope you never have a chance to fly.

Spirit puts the low in low-budget.

The tickets are cheap, and service is lousy. The seats are horribly small and uncomfortable, the planes are overcrowded.

The employees are miserable.

Sort of like the gamblers in Downtown Vegas who are no longer allowed in the nice casinos on the Strip, some ugly shit had to go down in the careers of these flight attendants for them to even be working this evil little airline. They know this. And they are taking it out on you.

One time, years ago, some co-workers and I were booked by our company to fly the red-eye from LAX to Detroit Metro. (Spirit flys this route round-trip, once daily.) When we arrived at the gate, we were told that there was a five hour delay, meaning we'd be sitting in LAX until 5:30am before we even boarded. Upon asking why, the Customer Service Representative simply told us that the Spirit flight was delayed in Detroit because the "plane was broken."

That's what she really said. The plane was broken. But now it's okay or whatever, and they are on their way to pick us up. In that plane. The one that had been, you know, "broken" just a minute ago.

I used to know a guy that owned a comedy club in Michigan. He was a wacky guy, and not the sort that I would trust my wallet with. He claimed to be a part time pilot, but I never believed him.

Until the time I got on a Spirit airlines flight back home for Christmas and that goofy motherfucker was flying the plane.

Catch the Spirit! (That's their exciting slogan.)

People ofter complain about the low-budgetness of Southwest Airlines. But after catching the Spirit just once, anyone who has ever hated on SWA will fall to their knees and be thankful for those non-seat assigning, khaki wearing, comedy flight attendant having, low-budget-Gods-of-the-sky.

Anyway, Spirit was in the news last week because some guy claimed that Spirit threw him and his family - including his pregnant wife - off a flight because they asked for water. Even though that doesn't seem like sufficient reason any airline to eject anyone, the brain-dead media ran with it as if it made sense.

This naturally prompted Spirit to release a response, and explain what really happened. No bits, this is from their real press release:

-Spirit did not deny water to anyone. Beverages were offered for purchase just as we do on all of our flights.

-The real story is that Dr. Roslin was escorted off the flight for violating federal law for interfering with a flight crew.

-He was causing a disturbance and attempted to incite other passengers to the point that another passenger started to cry in fear as a result of his behavior.

-He made verbal references to terrorism.

-His continued disturbance caused further delays to the flight.

-His escalating behavior was a safety risk to the crew and other passengers.

-His son kicked a Spirit employee in the groin.

-He had to be removed from the aircraft by law enforcement.

And so I say thank you, Dr. Roslin. You and your Spirit ball-kicking kid.

Undercover Armenian

By: Marc Warzecha

In case you don't already know me, this is what I pretty much look like:




















That's from my last round of headshots, which are supposed to look natural and be a honest representation of yourself. And yes, I often hang out in front of LA's one newsstand and lean against a parking meter.

Point is, I look like a white guy. Just a normal, regular, midwest white guy.

But I'm not.

I'm an Armenian.

Forreals. See, my Mom is 100% Armenian, which makes me 50% Armenian. But since I've got my Dad's Polish looks and last name, no one ever suspects it. (Although the big-ass nose oughta be a clue.) I am an Undercover Armenian. And growing up in Michigan, it wasn't much of an issue.

No one knows what Armenian is in Michigan, as there are virtually none of us there. If fact, my family used to joke about being "Romanian" since that's what Michiganders always thought we were saying. (This was similar to the old joke we'd have at Second City - Detroit. When we told people our place of employment they'd often say, "Circuit City?" With that kind of market penetration it's a hard to imagine why SC-Detroit closed. Twice.) So it would go like this:

"What nationality are you?"

"Armenian."

"Romanian?"

"No. Armenian."

"What?"

"Armenian."

"What is that?"

I never figured out how to answer the "what is that?" part. What is that? If you happen to be Italian, and someone said to you, "what is that?", how would you answer?

Familiarity with Armenians, however, is the least of my problems in Southwest California. You fuckers out here know exactly what Armenian is...and you hate us. I know this because I am an Undercover Armenian.

You say stuff like, "I just moved into a new building. It looked really nice at first, but as soon as I moved in I found out its full of Armenians."

And the people around you say, "Oh that's sucks, man. Sorry to hear that."

I know that you say these things because I'm standing right next to you. You're saying them to me. And this sort of thing happens often.

And I know, I know, we bring a lot of it upon ourselves. Armenians are an insulated, tribal group that are distrustful of outsiders. We even have a word, Odar, which Armenians will tell you means "non-Armenian." But if we're gonna keep it real, it kinda means "evil outsider."

But look, you can't survive as a people for thousands of years (Armenians are one of the few peoples mentioned in the Old Testament that are still around) in lands that are not your own without a strong tribal instinct. That, plus that little matter of 1.5 million killed in the Armenian genocide add up to some well-earned insulation.

Anyway, its weird to become a minority at 30 years old. Its weird to hear racist comments from people you've known for 15 years. It's weird to be an Undercover Armenian.

Old-ass Larry King

By: Marc Warzecha

One day I'll be old, and when I'm old, I hope I'm cool.

Last week, Larry King dedicated an entire hour of his show to the new highest grossing movie of all-time, Avatar.

He had on James Cameron and a bunch of the actors, including Steven Lang, who I gather plays the bad-guy-Marine-type-dude (I haven't seen the movie yet, as I have a non-conformist streak and don't really appreciate the way society is shoving this thing down my throat, okay? Plus to sit through any movie for 3-hours requires planning and the right mood. But the Pandora World or whatever it is does look cool, and the woman who played Uhura in Star Trek is hot, even when she's covered in cartoon. All right, I'll see it tonight.)

Anyway, Larry tells us that Steven Lang got to play the Jack Nicholson role in "A Few Good Men" on Broadway.

Then this happens. In fact, here's the transcript from CNN. com:

KING: Do you remember the movie, "A Few Good Men," where Jack Nicholson played that incredible part?

Well, Stephen Lang did it on Broadway and he was incredible with that -- that great line, right, you wouldn't know the truth?

LANG: You can't handle the truth.

KING: Yes!

That's right, old-ass Larry quoted it as "you wouldn't know the truth." Hilarious. He sold the shit out of it, too. He gets better. (Or worse.) Later, they showed a clip of the movie where some of the characters are flying around in a helicopter type vehicle.

Anyone who's lived on the earth for even just a few years would know that this vehicle doesn't exist in the real world, it is a fantasy movie creation. In fact, here it is:














After seeing this, Larry asked:

KING: What was it like to go flying around like that?

Larry King, you see, thinks they were REALLY FLYING AROUND IN THAT THING! And...that his viewers would like to hear about that experience, so he's asking a good question.

One day I'll be old, and when I'm old, I hope I'm cool.

You know, like Larry King.