By: Marc Warzecha
It's fun to put people in odd situations and see how they react.
I've always felt this way; I guess it's connected to the part of me that is drawn to performance.
But ideally, for me, it's about not just any reaction.
It's about getting the laugh.
In first grade, I sliced a little lunchroom milk container in half and set these two eraser-top monsters inside. The milk carton was now their spaceship. They flew from desk to desk and talked to the other students until I was told that I was weird and it was time to go away.
Not the reaction I wanted.
In high school some friends and I dressed up in costumes (you know, like a princess, a star trek officer, and a dark child of the underworld) and walked around the mall. We didn't act crazy or anything. That would have ruined it. We just walked around like this was completely normal and watched how people reacted. It was hilarious to us, of course, but just weirded out the shoppers.
Lately I've been walking around with a new prank. One that's right on my face. 24/7.
I'm missing half of my left eyebrow.
That's right. Half of my left eyebrow is totally F'n gone. It's been like that for over six months, and how it even happened is unclear. I first noticed it about two weeks after a haircut. It looked like a chunk of my eyebrow had been accidentally shaved off when being "trimmed."
Then the hair under that fell out.
I've been keeping a tally: who says stuff about it and when.
Most people say nothing. They are too polite, and probably think something serious is wrong with me. For all they know I'll break down in tears…
"This is the first stage of alopeica! My eyelashes are next! Help me!!!"
Heck, for all I know this IS the first stage of alopecia. What the hell am I doing writing this blog? I should get to a doctor.
My oldest friend Steve noticed in two seconds: "Dude, what happened to your eyebrow?"
My friend and frequent writing partner Andy was suddenly shocked to discover it mid-writing session: "Hey, did you shave your eyebrow or something?"
While visiting Chicago last week, my friend Denise held it in for a few hours before it finally exploded: "What the fuck happened to your eyebrow?"
When I told her I wasn't really sure…