Old-ass Larry King

By: Marc Warzecha

One day I'll be old, and when I'm old, I hope I'm cool.

Last week, Larry King dedicated an entire hour of his show to the new highest grossing movie of all-time, Avatar.

He had on James Cameron and a bunch of the actors, including Steven Lang, who I gather plays the bad-guy-Marine-type-dude (I haven't seen the movie yet, as I have a non-conformist streak and don't really appreciate the way society is shoving this thing down my throat, okay? Plus to sit through any movie for 3-hours requires planning and the right mood. But the Pandora World or whatever it is does look cool, and the woman who played Uhura in Star Trek is hot, even when she's covered in cartoon. All right, I'll see it tonight.)

Anyway, Larry tells us that Steven Lang got to play the Jack Nicholson role in "A Few Good Men" on Broadway.

Then this happens. In fact, here's the transcript from CNN. com:

KING: Do you remember the movie, "A Few Good Men," where Jack Nicholson played that incredible part?

Well, Stephen Lang did it on Broadway and he was incredible with that -- that great line, right, you wouldn't know the truth?

LANG: You can't handle the truth.

KING: Yes!

That's right, old-ass Larry quoted it as "you wouldn't know the truth." Hilarious. He sold the shit out of it, too. He gets better. (Or worse.) Later, they showed a clip of the movie where some of the characters are flying around in a helicopter type vehicle.

Anyone who's lived on the earth for even just a few years would know that this vehicle doesn't exist in the real world, it is a fantasy movie creation. In fact, here it is:














After seeing this, Larry asked:

KING: What was it like to go flying around like that?

Larry King, you see, thinks they were REALLY FLYING AROUND IN THAT THING! And...that his viewers would like to hear about that experience, so he's asking a good question.

One day I'll be old, and when I'm old, I hope I'm cool.

You know, like Larry King.